I saw Ted Cruz in the bathroom once. That was disturbing.

Well in the shower my feet are usually in a pool of urine, which I hear is sterile, so yes!

Exactly. The Brad and Angelina situation gets an even bigger thumbs down from me because it apparently involves Maddox. I am projecting here, but Maddox is the only child who was first just with Angelina as a single mom. I know he was still little when Brad came into the picture, but I’m old enough to remember when it…

I hated the Brad-Jen break-up, because it just felt like my worst romantic nightmare come true for someone - gorgeous lover/boyfriend/husband leaves you for The Most Beautiful Woman In The World and you are forced to witness their Glorious Transcendent Love Affair play out on the cover of every magazine in the world…

She gave him some keen insight into what it was like to manage a hotel. How to slap the ice machine like The Fonz so it would start working again, make the sure the eggs don’t get cold for the continental breakfast, how to avoid a strike & so on.

I feel like it would turn my boobs into two disobedient obese housecats who keep running off into inconvenient directions when I need them to sit still.

Maybe because its the most functional thing for their life? I am training for half marathons and I often go and do errands and such in my running clothes before my run. I do this both to save time and because its freaking comfortable. In the morning when I drop off my son, I am in my running clothes because as soon as…

You may walk with me and hold hands if you’d like.

I have both and you can't make me hate myself.

I think we all have confirmation now, that Jor Jor Rodgers peaked in highschool

I don’t watch anything in The Bachelor franchise, but I avidly follow a fan podcast, Rose Buddies (with Griffin and Rachel McElroy of the podcast McElroys). I know how ridiculous it is to follow the franchise only from a step away, but that ridiculousness makes it all so perfect. It’s like listening to someone…

So I agree that it’s bullshit to have mugshots shown for some people and not for others. But for rape, I kind of wish all of the photos were of the smiling, yearbook type. There’s this perception that rapists are different - not your neighbor or your boyfriend or your brother. But they are. And the more we see that a…

Yes all the songs from the first season are where it’s AT but I always thought Will was under-rated amongst all the (much deserving) powerhouse women. Am I the only one who loved this song and kinda sorta still plays it semi-reguarly...? #TeamWill

To be fair to people who avoid junk food altogether; it’s much, much easier to eat zero chips than one. I don’t crave junk food simply because it’s out of my system. I am absolutely sure, based on previous experience, that if I went to McDonald’s this afternoon, I would want it again tomorrow. I don’t want it this…

Book yourself for a meeting in a conference room. Call it “document review” or something. Pick a conference room that doesn’t have windows, even if they’re tinted or frosted to up above eye level. You don’t want anyone looking in. Take your laptop to complete the charade so people walking past your desk don’t get…

I don’t have kids either (and choose to never have kids), but I imagine it’s much easier to tell yourself it’s super rewarding being a parent than to resent your kid and yourself for the decision to have one. Even shitty parents don’t want to admit they’re shitty. So good parents are even more likely to sing the…

OMG this Chrissy person is my new best friend. YAAAAAAS. it’s soo true. I have a 6 month-old, and I still get “but how can you leave her” when I go somewhere for like 2 hours while she’s with my professional nanny. WTF? They act as if a trip to try on some pants or have dinner with my husband is like I left her…

I personally think all parties should have joints.

in 4th grade, whenever our teacher was going to teach us maps, he’d say “it’s map time!” and we’d all lie on the floor and pretend to go to sleep like he’d said “nap time” and it was HILARIOUS when we were 10.