It’s the subtle differences.

I masturbated to this trailer....

I came......

to see this trailer.

It seems almost too obvious to point out that this is a bad, bad list.

That is not my favorite place to go either. So many people. Soooo maaaaannny peeeeeooople.

Thank you so much. I can't express how truly bizarre it is to have people so adamant that it didn't happen. Like, I can't prove it! But it's in my brain-meats because it was a super weird, rage-fueled thing I did. I also give most stories like this a hard side-eye, so I at least understand where it comes from. To be…

Appropriate, since “not pleasurable, but consistent” has been the Cubs’ motto for the last 100 years.

I’m black, and even I find it comical how the article chastises the white cultural for not being okay with that comment. Whether it’s racist or not is beside the point. The phrase he said should not be condoned, nor should we try to shift the story to it being wrong for people to be upset with it.

Man... someone started celebrating a little early.

Won’t the umpires find it distracting?

You know what they say. If there's grass on the field, keep your fucking bike off of it.

So drink beers during the gym. Excellent.

In addition to the general advice of "don't be dumb," your diet is the most important part of any exercise program.

I took a cartload of groceries, including 2 cases of beer to the checkout. When it was all rung up and bagged and in the cart I realized I'd forgotten to put my debit card back into my wallet after paying bills online that morning. I'm a regular at that store and live only a block away so I asked the cashier if he…

I eagerly await the publication of his memoir, Fuck: My Life.

I've got a freezer full of venison right now, thanks to my dad's hunting. I live in the Midwest, in an area full of hunters, and I'm so surprised I'm still introducing people to actually eating venison all the time. As ground chuck, it is indistinguishable from lean beef, IMO. Steaks, sausage, everything that's good…

Yeah but have you smelled a freshly popped can of tennis balls? Oh my god.

I'm just a firm believer in what you give to the universe will eventually come back to you, not now, not in a measurable amount of time, or all at once even, but the inexplicable things in life sadly fall upon how you treated others in the past.