I AM SO EXCITED!!!

Hoo-hoo boy, this is gonna be fun!!

Eh. Google search photos of the kid. I guess they might be going in and editing every single picture, but. . . I dunno.

Think of the royalties Mariah Carey has made off "All I Want For Christmas is You." She wrote that song. Every time you hear it, every time someone covers it, every time you watch Love Actually, Ms. Carey makes BANK!

We must run in very different crowds.

Also, she was probably born in 1996. Just putting that out there so the commentariat can feel the grossness I currently feel answering this question.

Silver Lining Alert!

She was also probably not responsible for the Atlanta Olympic bombing.

That's not nothing in a relationship, you know.

I can't remember where I read it but someone, somewhere said that Miley was an interesting case because while her name is everywhere and her songs are all overplayed on the radio, she could never fill an arena. I liked reading that. I like reading it's pretty much true even more.

Is there an engagement ring equivalent to the uncanny valley? The gumball machine gap? After a certain size, diamonds just look comically phony to me.

Oh, for fuck's sake. He literally said that he COPED BY EATING PIE.

I don't care. Good riddance.

Yep, I know I think of Tia Tequila before George Takei, Kristi Yamaguchi, Dan Inoue, Yoyo Ma, Vera Wang, Bruce Lee, Margaret Cho, Amy Tan, Ming-Na, Sandra Oh, Lucy Liu, John Cho, Ang Lee, Tiger Woods or Michelle Kwan. Totally. Tia Tequila is the first Asian-American who comes to mind.

Just FYI, an Aussie 14 is an American 10.

I'm sorry, "freezing temperatures?" In Vancouver? Yeah, I guess... if you're from the EQUATOR. I mean, it could conceivably be below zero there and thus technically freezing temperatures.

-quoth the bitter and cold Saskatchewanian

I'm 96% certain the Britney texts are fake... Considering he screenshot green text bubbles which are typically outgoing messages.

Needs more cowbell

Stanley Tucci had eyebrows! He had purple eyebrows. AND I NEED THEM NOW.