The oldest Jewish synagogue in the United States

Ha! I feel you on the not so family friendly story... I don’t really want my grandma to know that we were both trashed, started making out like animals up against an arcade game and then a friend drove us back to my dorm where we boned all night.

My husband was leering at my ass before he approached me.

Right? I met my boyfriend in a bar, we got drunk and talked about Lord of the Rings. Then we made out.

You know what the appropriate response is when a server asks to bus your table but you don’t want them to?

I am sick and tired of these motherfucking cats on my motherfucking plane!

There are goats near where I work and when I walk by I instinctively say “G-o-o-o-o-o-o-a-t-s” because apparently I think the sound a goat makes is just the name of the animal said like b-a-a-a. Similarly, I also say “s-h-e-e-e-e-e-p” and “m-o-o-o-s-e” (but that’s more like a cow lowing).