Her name is Jedediah?

I hope that everyone involved in this scandal, including Loughlin and Huffman, have to serve a substantial amount of time in prison because obviously a fine is not going to make any impact on them. But this lady suing is pretty cool and I think other people should sue as well. Sue the institutions, sue the people…

I think the solution for chefs and restaurants that don’t want people taking pictures is simple: post it on the front door or in highly visible area near the front, on the menu and online. “Please refrain from taking (mobile phone) pictures. Thank you.”

My grandmother used to do about the same, except she’d pour the popcorn into a paper grocery bag, add butter and then shake vigorously. Perfect every time, no second dish to clean.

I hope they all have to serve jail time because clearly paying a fine would be nothing to these people. 

Who would honestly want to be her friend, anyway? All she does is complain. That’s it, that’s her thing. Complaining about Democrats, Obama, Clinton, anyone opposed to W and Cheney and the war in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, the war in Syria, the war in Somalia, the Israel-Palestine thing, anyone who opposes her…

For Chef Roy:

I want Tuukka Rask to make Karjalanpiirakka.

Oh, man, I bet someone at Food Network is wetting themselves writing up a proposal for “Sportscooking,” the 1/2 hour cooking show featuring a different celebrity sports figure every week. 

If he does, I going to one of those CNN “Town Halls” and asking him how in Holy Hell does he think he can run the country when he can’t get together with his own party boy Cuomo to fix the damn subways? 

That’s weird. Vulture was just hiring...

Cherry Hill is only #3 according to NJ.com, so... 

I am Jewish because I went to Zabar’s once. 

Why not make it an adjective and write “fish fry gatherings” or “fish fry events?” Because how often are you going to refer to multiple fish fry events anyway? 

I thought we were all switching to paper straws anyway. Whatever happened to that?

What is the word we’re supposed to use now instead of “retarded?”

I feel like there are quite a few stories about people in England being terrorized by unctuous seagulls and angry swans. 

So the takeaway here is that Devin Nunes can’t drink from a glass like an adult.

Holy shit, dude. I was reading the piece and thought, “Maybe he’s secretly the Watcher in another guise” and then YOU. Cool. 

That picture of Jesse and the Twits... I was looking at it, fake smiles and thumbs-up broing-out, and in my head I heard this vaguely Eastern European voice say, “We are here for the sex, yes?”