If he does, I going to one of those CNN “Town Halls” and asking him how in Holy Hell does he think he can run the country when he can’t get together with his own party boy Cuomo to fix the damn subways? 

That’s weird. Vulture was just hiring...

Cherry Hill is only #3 according to NJ.com, so... 

I am Jewish because I went to Zabar’s once. 

Why not make it an adjective and write “fish fry gatherings” or “fish fry events?” Because how often are you going to refer to multiple fish fry events anyway? 

I thought we were all switching to paper straws anyway. Whatever happened to that?

What is the word we’re supposed to use now instead of “retarded?”

I feel like there are quite a few stories about people in England being terrorized by unctuous seagulls and angry swans. 

So the takeaway here is that Devin Nunes can’t drink from a glass like an adult.

Holy shit, dude. I was reading the piece and thought, “Maybe he’s secretly the Watcher in another guise” and then YOU. Cool. 

That picture of Jesse and the Twits... I was looking at it, fake smiles and thumbs-up broing-out, and in my head I heard this vaguely Eastern European voice say, “We are here for the sex, yes?”

There is not a single candidate among the growing group of Dems that doesn’t have red in their ledger. Not one. Remember that. 

Alec Baldwin as John DeLorean? DeLorean, who, according to Wiki, was born in Detroit to immigrants, a WW II Army veteran, worked for Packard, at the age of 40 was the youngest division head at GM, developed the Pontiac GTO and the Firebird, did lots of cocaine in the 70s and 80s, was married four times (including to …

Am I mistaken, or didn’t CNN predict Hilary would smoke Donald Trump in the last election? 

What kind of punishment would Kemp face from this investigation? 

Papa John’s pizza is the absolute worst. I would rather go down on a syphillitic prostitute than eat that garbage. 

Why is Will Smith out, anyway? The only thing I’ve seen him do that I’ve liked in YEARS and he’s walking? Lame. 

Um....

I would like to know why so many people slamming Ilhan for her comments actively support and defend AIPAC (*cough*Republicans*cough*), are so in love with a country they don’t live in that has national healthcare, and yet do a complete 180 when it comes to funding national healthcare for their own countrymen? 

Yeah? As a committed follower of Jesus Christ, you should learn about turning the other cheek, although I think they’re all better off without you. Christ died for your sins and you’re making a mockery of it instead of learning the virtues of charity, fortitude and justice. Idiot.