To fix any problem, you must first identify it. That's what I've done, though you've called it "bitching."

Not shocked. I was helping this high school student with a research paper. About half of the teacher's corrections were just plain wrong. Not the subjective kinda stuff we deal with in editing sometimes, the wrong wrong violations of grammar type stuff. I have to stay out of English classrooms because most of the…

Where I live, I encounter amazing paras and I encounter paras who shouldn't be around children at all. There's a wide range. Of course I have nothing but admiration for the terrific ones, but I've also had to report one for verbal abuse and there are others who walk close to that line or hide it from anyone who can…

It goes by many names — Positive Discipline is one of them. It's setting limits with empathy. Basically, by the time you're in punishment mode, you're not going to accomplish anything. The lower brain has taken over, rational thought has ceased, and the punished child/adult is using all of their energy to…

Yep. 100%. That's exactly what's been shown to be ineffective.

Yep! Just like my mom never chased my sister with a butcher knife even though we all saw it. I feel you, and I'm sorry you live in that space too.

I am not pro permissive parenting, not at all. But I also don't take Modern Family as gospel about anything, much as I love the show. The episode with the teacher correcting Cam's grammar from a couple months ago, for instance — she was wrong.

Good for you taking matters into private. Punishment doesn't work though.

Oh my gosh. I am so sorry that happened to you. Have you ever said anything to your mom about this? Having a mom with similar proclivities, I can imagine how she would justify it.

None of that is a good idea though. Research has established that shame does no good. But hitting kids changes the gray matter in their brains and negatively impacts the ability to self-regulate, for life. The science is even clearer on that. The number of times a kid is spanked is directly correlated to binge…

I'm really sorry that happened to you. My parents did similar things. What would it take for more parents to start realizing they are accountable to 1) their kids and 2) society for their decisions? A lot of this stuff is done by statistically intelligent people who should know better. Punishment does not work, and…

OMG great name! I'm jealous that I didn't think of it.

And honestly, having lived in Ann Arbor, I find it ironic for the just pure waste aspect. Environmentalism is rampant there in a sometimes snobbish way, like it's the cool thing to do. (I'm pro-Earth, right, but it's hard to describe how misplaced/privileged some of the movement is there.)

I just listened to that exact scene in the audiobook today. HOT.

I will look that up. I enjoy relating! :)

Yes indeed. See the parents of Chris McCandless ("Into the Wild").

Yep. See Carine McCandless's book "Return to the Wild" about what actually happened in their house when she and her brother Chris ("Into the Wild") were growing up. Exactly the same pattern.

Yep and yep. Unfortunately really common.

Might want to inform those thoughts with some reading first. Facts are helpful not harmful, I promise.

When PBS promoted this article via their Facebook page, the comments were outstanding. 98% of readers reached exactly the same conclusion: the kids aren't the narcissistic ones. Reflection is hard, lady, but a therapist can help you through it.