I have multiple residential properties, but you can only have one per e-mail address. Brilliant, people.

My Mr Coffee is approximately 15 years old and the “On” button fell out a while ago. It requires a skilled hand with a paperclip to turn the thing on.

I’m sorry, my brain is still working on the part where where you implied a person could wake up on Thanksgiving morning and they would already be in the house. I... I’ll just be under my desk for a couple minutes...

I just got a 2019 Forester Touring in Jasper Green and it’s *awesome.* I love it, the dog loves it, the neighbor lady who stood in my driveway while I demonstrated the automatic lift gate loves it - it’s a great vantage point from which to show off the Forester because you can see out all the windows simultaneously.…

Nope, just some older lady’s house.  She was dressed as a witch and clearly thought it was funny.

If a stranger walks into your place of a business asking “Hey, does Alicia work here?” or “When will Alicia be in today?” or “What does Alicia get off work?” the answer is, “We’re not able to give out information about our employees.” You are not compelled - nor should you ever - give this information out.

Hey Allison Shoemaker! Is a hot dog a sandwich?

Maybe. I still have dreams about Jameson Limited Reserve (18 years).

I do not have kids, but the weirdest thing I ever received growing up was a severed chicken’s foot.

:raises hand: What’s the electrical wire for?

Alan Horn made the decision all by himself. The people in that Burbank office aren’t about to change his mind, especially considering their livelihood depends on their not arguing with him.

Oh, but have you seen those EDGY commercials for the COROLLA HATCHBACK? (They’re young, breaking shit, driving a hatchback, etc.) That commercial manages to appeal (in theory) to the youngs while making individuals like myself feel really, really, really old.

I’m a believer. The main thing it does is keep them dry. Good for mushrooms, too.

That fruit is the dead giveaway of this bullshit fridge. For me, one small container of blueberries is a week’s worth of overnight oatmeal.

And not one single bottle of hot sauce! That is some bullshit right there.

That’s probably a *different* fridge.

I’m 38 my mother still makes me an Easter basket every year. The Fun Police will be taking my Cadbury Creme eggs out of my cold dead hands.

I was just rolling down here say, “Yes, but I think it might be a regional thing.” My family is originally from Bellaire, OH and I think proximity to The Source may be a factor. 

Thank you! The first time I experienced “sober discrimination” I was humiliated, but now I’m sort of bitchy about it. I have 20 years of drinking experience - I miss all the sweet, sour, bitter flavors. This article and Curious Elixirs are throwing support my way, and I’m grateful.  If the bar’s mixers aren’t good…

I’m over 100 days in now, so this was a lovely article to find. Thanks for this. I hope this trend makes its way over here. Serving me club soda in a *plastic* cup while my friend drinks her mai tai from a glass ensures I'll never darken your door again.