FAT ANIMALS. Get it?

@Caenct: Yes, you. Go get some lotion and meet me back here in 5.

Eggbert Swackhammer III

@lorem oopsum: Me too! So I think we can safely answer the question: when someone looks like Shirley Manson, but they are not Shirley Manson, it's probably Photoshop's fault.

Mrs. Vernon-Williams is going to be very upset with you, Amy Locane.

@whynotshesaid: To wrap up his post: "And everything went wrong! How did it all go wrong?!"

Well, folks, we've found it. The (dog) brown noise.

@furthermore: And I just spent a good minute or so saying "nerd" and "turd" in a (terrible) Scottish accent. Why does everything sound cuter that way?

@msfreckles: "You're fucking funny, man! I get it! You're fucking funny!"

I was yelling "DUH! It's Gerard Butler!" in my head . . . right up until the part about it happening in the 70's or 80's. Hmm.

Re: Conan's flat ass.

Ahh! The crappy mirrors and useless sunglasses! Glorified Barbie accessories, indeed.

@HistoricUpstart: "He's a giant, 300 pound Chinese baby that wears aviator glasses and spins records with his . . . little ravioli hands."

It's not the frats or sororities. This is how some college-aged people act.

@Nancy Sin: I do, too. I didn't think I would, but I really do.

@EmD_MD: Now that I've got my greasy pervert fix, I can go about my day.

@Gnatalby: To be fair, those egg shaping thingies are awesome, and I would buy one sober.

@suzanne77 is cuckoo chanel: I had the SAME EXACT ISSUE. Sometimes it would be really weird and I would vacillate between hysterical sobbing and hysterical laughter. This scared the hell out of my husband, and obviously sexy times were not the result.

You know, it would STILL be better than Mother's Day when I was 18. During the obligatory "I love you, Mommy!" phone call, she got around to asking about my new boyfriend.

@HeartRateRapid: She's been wearing some sort of take on "Asymmetrical Body Suit" all cycle. It's my theory that ALT is picking her clothes now.