Man, Kosuke Fukudome. He was a part of an all-time “remember that guy?” team—the 2008 Chicago Cubs. Some excerpts:

Once had Andy van Slyke give us the finger behind his back at Busch after he’d joined the Pirates. It may or may not have been related to heckling.

MVP Baseball 04... I could never EVER get Matt Williams out. It was fucking impossible for me.

Back in my day, when I needed a sip of water, I had to get permission from a nun to walk down the hall to the water fountain and be back in less than a minute. And we were never allowed to drink too much water because then we’d have to go to the bathroom. And guess what, she was right because hooo boy did I ever…

Man, he’s lucky.  The last thing I caught in Jersey was herpes.

+1 joke of the day

Former Mariner Chris Widger!

Chili Davis. Now that was a guy with a name.

Talk Talk - It’s My Life

•“Black coffee and a donut / No homo Frenchie cruller! / Jeff Sessions do your duty / And fire Robbie Mueller!”

Are you ready for BOCEPHUS? Have you accepted our lord JESUS?

America is great, footballs the game/There is no evidence that global warming causes hurricanes!

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL? Are you ready for a PARTY?

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL? Are you ready for a PARTY?

This is a downer.

This inexorable frittering of getting to third, getting sent back to second and juggling the two infinitely is triggering some serious ptsd from my high school dating life.

There are way more tall people in the world who only have to jump upwards a couple of feet, compared to people who have the strength, hand-eye coordination, and technique to hit a baseball high and far enough over a fence.

Also not a good look: saying shit like “sob like a woman.”

No need to get all red in the face, at least they relocated the family.

The story is that Dewey is WILLING to be president.