No way man. If you strike first, you have every fucking right to get your shit rocked. This is all on her.

“I fought to protect the freedoms you enjoy in this country, so you better stop fucking enjoying them!”

When my daughter was 2, she refused to let me use wet wipes to clean her after she pooped, and insisted on being wiped with a shred of an American flag which had been moistened with tears shed by decent upstanding citizens at the moral decay our society has been experiencing since, oh, about September 22nd, 1862. But…

The truly amazing part of this story is that it took a teenage boy more than four strokes to finish.

Huh, my favourite magician has always been Harry Houdidn’tgrabmyass.

Let’s not forget that Josh Jackson was a fucking asshole, that Kansas allowed him to be a fucking asshole, Bill Self enabled his fucking assholeishness, and thus he is likely still a fucking asshole.

“Better ingredients. Better pizza. Better get the hell out of Louisville, Tom.”

Rather disheartening to see how far the USMNT selection process has fallen.

I look forward to reading From Butt Fumble to What?! Fumble?!: An Oral History of the Jets.

I’m sure you must all feel very proud that your basketball team got off essentially because it was found that your entire university was revealed to be a fraud and not just it’s athletic department.

UNC student-athletes will be thrilled once someone reads this story to them.

They named him Jagr

It sucked they had to go sit in the box for 2 minutes afterward for hooking

Have you seen the President they’re responding to? Who exactly should be setting the level of discourse here?

Never seen a 2-ball walk before...

“5,694, Ha!”

I think Charmin Sandiego is a better name than The Mad Pooper.

Daily reminder that Bob Ley is a national treasure.

Cop here. I’ll chime in. The video itself isn’t helpful, other than proving that Bennett was detained and handcuffed. Unfortunately, we don’t have the video of what lead up to it. We could see if the officer was a complete asshole (certainly possible) or if Bennett is lying (also possible). I don’t know any of the…

JULY 6—Rush Limbaugh was traveling with four other men—including the producers of the hit show “24"—when he was detained over a mislabeled bottle of Viagra found in his luggage during a Customs search, records show.