I haven’t seen an owner act this entitled toward a player since Marge Schott.

LOOK AT THOSE OTHER COPS STANDING THERE. I want everyone to remember that every time people start talking about how cops that do things like this are just “a few bad apples.” Remember that the rest of that saying is “ruin the whole bunch.” They stood there and did nothing, just like the cops who were on those planted…

“I ate a pack of ramen noodles and that’s all for like a day-and-a-half.”

Colin Kaepernick doesn’t have a job because he won’t stand.

The Next Matt Stares

“This is fine.”

Back in my day, players didn’t need coddling. Hell, that little league pitcher Danny Almonte wouldn’t even drive his children on the team for ice cream after losses.

So he definitely murdered her.

Should have been the other Baylor.

For those who think there will never be another Usain Bolt, think again. Somewhere out there a young boy, sitting alone in his living room, was inspired by watching the unbelievable feats that Bolt has achieved. At that moment he said to himself, “When I grow up, I’m going to college, and becoming the greatest chemist…

And congrats to all the Cubs fans for getting another moment to pat themselves on the back for feeling bad about how they ruined this guys fucking life all those years ago. It’s ok now, he’s got jewelry.

Moises Alou must be pissed. Also, he’s probably upset.

Racism? At an Indians game?

Where the hell is that asshole who catches like a dozen foul balls every season? Get him to cough up a couple of them and see if they’re different across different years.

Big deal. There wasn’t even a wrecked Volkswagen in his way.

“It’s pretty simple, I was just faster than my training partner.”

He probably should have gotten de call, but that’s no excuse for throwing de ball at de referee.

Talk about Koreshing my hopes and dreams, amirite?