Many a throat will be ripped out and no celery stalks will be safe!

And we all lose 

Those sound like great MST3k episodes

So it’s like every other Zack Snyder movie?

I don’t know about all the negativity here. Even the picture of the cast at the top of the review shows how Snyder is branching out of his normal wheelhouse. You can see him moving out of his “everything is grey” phase and into more of a “but what if it was also dirty brown?” aesthetic moment.

A long time ago, specifically 2002, in a galaxy far far away...

... but you'll wish it was

The sad part is that the Snyder Cut is actually better than the theatrical release. Which just goes to show how bad the theatrical release is.

Other future Snyder franchises:

He can be a very nice man who does his best but still makes garbage movies.

“Snyder took heavy aesthetic and stylistic notes from genre classics _____ without understanding the story and emotional beats.”
Change what is in this blank and you get every single Snyder project.

I mean, dunking on your worst fans is one thing, but continuing to make material that panders directly to what those fans want kind of undercuts said dunking.

“Zack Snyder seems like a very nice man who is doing his best.”

This. The fact he has attracted such weird, angry fan base is a little mystifying. But that said, Snyders work clearly demonstrates he’s the guy who only looks at the covers and splash pages of comic books instead of actually reading them.

Worth mentioning - Zack Snyder seems like a very nice man who is doing his best, this movie is fairly diverse and he’s dunked on some of the alt-right chuds who worship him right to their face - but his fanbase is one of the worst on the internet. The intersection with MauLer fans, who are actually the worst, is…

I look forward to Zack Snyder’s Crusade of the Lost Temple - Part One: The Ark of Doom.

I’d love to see someone make a big sci-fi/space opera movie like this, except the hero figure they all have to rely on ends up being MacGruber.

Snyder fans love this shit though. They don’t want to think about what the characters are feeling (most aren’t very interested in how other people are feeling in-general), they just want to move on to the next overshot tedious action scene. 

To be fair, the music the band’s playing being called jizz makes more sense in that context.

It sound like a game of Snyder Bingo where every card is a winner.

Imagine getting carte blanche and full creative control to do whatever you want...and still create a “director’s cut”. This guy and his fans are clearly in love with their own farts.