So not only are American police allowed to beat up Americans, we’re cool with foreign “police” doing the same?! Cool, cool, cool.

This is exactly why Trump and Pence have been so, so far away from each other on literally everything. I firmly believe Pence is being kept “clean” aka as far as possible from anything Trump does/says/touches/tweets for plausible deniability.

Only if Pence goes with him. Which is extremely unlikely.

HOLY FUCK. Jesus. No.

I honestly don’t remember the conversation that lead up to this but some chick implied that spanx would’ve made me sexier or my dress look better. All I remember clearly was saying “well I care about being comfortable, not if you find me sexy.” I was so pumped about the BEST COMEBACK happening immediately instead of…

POWDERED EYELINER IS A THING?! Since when.

I use, when I’m feeling fancy, BB cream, blush, mascara, eyeliner. Not liquid eye-liner. Fuck that noise. Just boring, brownish eyeliner on my upper water line. I’ve gotten a couple of “makeovers” by “professionals” and I’ve 100% hated every one of them.

This is where the “but that would never happen to ME” mindset that they could/will succeed where everyone else has “failed” before.

People are so, so strange.

I love when I’m presented the opportunity to make someone feel deeply uncomfortable with a solid dead-eyed stare. Life is a gift!

Right?! I immediately wanted to know more.

I’ve had to repeat over and over again to idiot people that you can dislike someone AND STILL DISAGREE with how they were treated and fired.

In college I frequented a local coffee shop, and there was this guy who I saw semi-regularly. In the summer he ALWAYS wore khaki shorts, and he always sat legs positioned perfectly to get a glimpse of his balls. The first time I was like poor dude has no idea we are all seeing his wrinkly junk. Second time I got…

My dad got lucky. He worked for a family owned company that kept him employed so he could have insurance. He would go in to work when he felt okay and they would always send him home. He didn’t make it, but he had at least a fighting chance. It’s not a world I want to go back to, pre-Obamacare. I know it’s not perfect…

Negotiating salaries is not offensive, stupid OR blind, but I am 100% certain her advice on HOW to do so was all or most of the above.

Well, nobody is perfect, that I do know!

I think their confidence in the face of a dead phone probably comes from having a cool parent who taught them all those things. My lack of trust in humans and hyper vigilance in the face of perceived and imagined danger mean my phone is my safety net.

I dropped my phone in an airport bathroom and it landed in a puddle of water (IT WAS WATER IT WAS WATER IT WAS WATER) and I spent like 3 days desperately sanitizing it.

So he goes on to say that some people get sick due to no fault of their own and “in those cases” society needs to help.

Death pool? “Everyone!” I win!