I sweat like a racehorse. Which doesn’t really bother me, to be honest. Except cold sweating. I’m FREEZING and I’ve got sweaty pits, which makes me even colder.

Pretty much, yeah. Although my current dog (minus a year or two when he was younger) is stupid good about food. He came with me to a NYE party once, and I woke up with whole pizza slices, chips, dip, etc. all on dog height side and coffee tables and he hadn't touched anything.

Oh in restaurants I always beg people not to put onions on my food, but I'm also not above eating around them. I spent roughly a decade in the restaurant biz, so I know exactly the type to which you refer.

My current dog once got a 6-pack of pistachio muffins out of the pantry, and when I came home there was only half a muffin left. He didn’t seem sick, so I just decided to keep a close eye on him. Then I sat on my couch (which amusingly enough “pistachio green”) and found a muffin stuffed inbetween the cushions. And a…

I'm pretty decidedly team dog, but I get it.

She really didn't need to eat her weight in chicken, and chasing her, covered in chicken grease, was actually pretty funny. I really wanted that chicken, though.

I mean, this was a Jack Russell! I think the damn chicken was bigger than she was. She dropped it on herself, so she was covered in grease. It was hilarious.

One time my dog snatched a whole rotisserie chicken off a tall counter and we chased her round and round the house for probably 15 minutes trying to get it back.

Like, I find the whole idea of onions to be offensive, but I don’t feel the need to announce in a press conference, my willingness to so generously share a restaurant with people who eat them.

I had a friend who I grew up with, knew for 14 or so years, who told me once that if I tried to walk into a church it would probably go up in flames. It took her a while to figure out why I stopped being her friend. She was “joking,” naturally.

A polite statement is not the same thing as a respectful one. Politeness is often misunderstood for respect.

Figures.

Hands down my favorite part of the story. Although I doubt it's anything like the delicious seaweed salads I'm familiar with at sushi restaurants.

I was more in shock that this was something that had to be said, but after spending a couple days with my niece and nephew (2 and 5) I realized this IS something that has to be said. To toddlers. Not grown ass men.

I think the tiny houses are great, to a point, but as in everything, some people take it a little too far. I don’t get why people need 5,000+ square feet for 4 people, but also these 150 square feet “homes” boggle my mind just as much.

To be fair, only two of them have had any need for birth control either for themselves or a spouse, for probably half a century.

Yeah I mean spreading out in your own chair/space is one thing, spreading out and taking up 3 seating spaces when you can get away with one, is a different story.

Just the regular. Th snap applicator ones are clutch because they take up less space.

My brother’s name is Josh and I can’t saw you’re wrong.

Keep your bodily fluids to yourself. Keep your BODILY FLUIDS to yourself. KEEP YOUR BODILY FLUIDS TO YOURSELF. FFS. This is something that has to be said.