I totally started reading this rolling my eyes and finished with a smile. Thank you, fine person.

Holy shit, fuck off. Dude your name even says Sicilian in it, you dumb cracker.

These things need to be banned until the long term health-effect of living near them can be properly studied and vetted. There’s strong evidence of negative side effects from the constant low frequency pulse of the turbine’s motion. They built one near a friend of mine’s uncles house. His wife suddenly got herpes out…

Counterpoint to him stating that he’s not a genius- remembering the name Ionesco and correlating it to a fragment of a sentence inside a clue on the fly with thousands of dollars on the line sounds pretty genius-y to me

Well, they have to do something with all the extra h2/3 bumper parts they have laying around.

You are definitely a bigger asshole than the guy who wished your team luck this year.

You should feel like the Predators lost the Stanley Cup and the Penguins won it. Good luck this year though

Some will say that the Pens are just tired from winning back to back Stanley Cups and that they had just played the night before, which is why they didn’t look like themselves last night. Others will say AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHfuckyou

And somewhere, on a practice field somewhere, Roberto Aguayo smiles and softly chuckles to himself, then promptly misses another kick.

Lindsey, like Houston, you are going to get swamped with “You mean Astros, not Tiger” comments. Too soon?

Game 1 against the Tigers? As a Tigers fan, this is doubly offensive. We aren’t in the playoffs and we don’t have Justin Verlander anymore :(

I want to learn more about the process that GM utilizes to turn a beautiful design concept into utter production blah. It’s fascinating.

Future Jalopnik-Amazon Post blog post:

NP, because this leaves me with $499 for the go-fast bits for LeMons.

You’re free to disagree with me of course, but I just can’t wrap my head around the concept that a person who stockpiles killing machines is completely normal. I don’t care if it’s a hobby, it’s still enthusiasm for a machine solely created to destroy life, which seems off at the very least.

Then you know very little about the Toyota Century. Or luxury, or old world class.

The Toyota Century is almost scared in Japan. There will be plenty of buyer, I assure you.

Stupid young people are going to grow into shitty old people with even dumber ideas, so might as well get started now.

Athletes are paid what someone is willing to pay them (sometimes less if there are salary caps). Simple laws of free market economics. Denny and his ilk are “underpaid” because their entertainment values have dropped precipitously in the last few years. There’s a reason those Irish players (what sport?) were not paid…

Are you kidding? Vikings fans are generally a HARD red base. This front office would never do something that “risky.” Sometimes, I fucking hate it here.