Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that bl...oh, wait.

Sorry guys. The whole “The Simpsons is running forever” thing is my fault. I got one of those monkey’s paws in 1994.

Incorrect. It is impossible to learn with your brains splattered.

I am, admittedly, a bit of a Luddite. The thought of a world with machines that kill and artificial intelligence scares the living shit out of me. But at times like these, I truly wish that there were a device that could transport me directly to your location so that I could kick you in the penis.

Don’t worry, Tom won’t starve. He has a never ending supply of apples he’s been polishing and handing over to his superiors his entire spineless life.

Get off the computer Dad. I heard this already when Katrina hit.

Go directly to hell, you absolute nightmare of a person.

As for his footwear after skidding to stop? Destroyed.

It’s basic science. Those solid brass balls he has give him a far more stable, lower, center of gravity.

Perhaps those of us with sons could also take it to heart so that boys feel supported pursuing whatever they want.

No, a couple demo rides and watching friends ownership experience was enough to make me look elsewhere.

In my 1987 Toyota Truck, I have been keying the engine off at stoplights since I bought it. In that time, I have replaced the starter twice.

The official ride of penniless meth heads with an inferiority complex and a goatee.

The Lob.... and the Jam!

Yup. The only crime here was filming in portrait.

He’d still have the same number of hall of fame spots.

If I found that spot, I’d take cabs for a week just to keep it.

$200 dollars for an AMG? Buy it, gut the gross interior. Turn it into a Lemons car.

I want a statue of Marshawn Lynch in Oakland and Seattle. Tomorrow.