Can’t we just let him talk and playfully muss his weave?

No way. "Strong home run slams all over the baseball yard" is one of the best things I've read this week.

Tom, being not impressed.

Actually, A GREAT POINT MADE BY BLOGGER TOM LEY and furthermore LET’S ALL LISTEN TO WHAT TOM LEY JUST SAID.

It’s all projection. He nearly shit his pants when she chastised him.

Obligatory Simpsons kinja reference, 9/14/16

Yup. And as soon as I pop it into neutral and take my foot off the clutch, THAT’S when I get a green.

But run the leader into the wall right before the finish line so you can finish first and apparently there’s no problem whatsoever.

I’d trust autonomy software typed by 100 monkeys on emacs more so than the average Toyota drivers.

I’m going to have to interject here, and note that the car is called Budd-E, and you said “weasel”, so this must be done.

Taking “Junior” to the hospital is a totally valid use of a sick day under basically every rule out there. What the fuck.

“Why the fuck would he put an exhaust on a lease?”

I can understand why Swanson refused to comment. It's a soft ball, low hanging fruit, or possibly just two nuts.

And next you will tell me that I can’t fix everything with a hammer

I bet Lochte was pissed.

You know, there is a whole generation or more of Packer’s fans that have no idea why it is like to root for a team that doesn’t have a Hall of Fame quarterback.

He's been in America long enough now that he should go by the name Jack Of The River.

300mph is the new 200mph.

NOT NEARLY EMPHASIZED ENOUGH:
Despite taking his shirt off, Harbaugh still wore full length khakis.