Hi everyone. This isn’t related to this article, but it’s still important.

“Everybody wishes they could be healthy all the time,” said Tom Brady. “It is a contact sport and he’s certainly had his fair share of injuries, so guys retire at different times. I’m sure Luck’s choice of retiring now in the height of nightshade season is coincidental. Maybe he’s just dehydrated.”

Here’s what I love about Jim Irsay:

Great job updating the WYTS entry with the late breaking news, Drew.

Let’s remember some foods.

Jesus Christ, Laura! The body isn’t even cold yet!

See you and raise:

Andrew Luck’s retirement will only increase the primal urgency of Football Men to find True Football Believers to play football, so that they don’t ever question their faith in it.

USA Men Fall Down*, Go Boom**

While it is notable any time Team USA loses, I still don't think think this is a big deal as the tournament hasn't even started. With that said, if this team can beat them, then what will happen when they go against Greece or Spain?

Video-cartridged game-playing young soft Americans can’t gut out a match of footballerie on a 110 yard field? I guess Aaron Rogers’ famed rocket arm has its limits, gets a little noodly if he really has to air it out?

VEGAN baby aspirin.

Wow, he’s really lucky, because, while they take drug offenses super-seriously in New Hampshire, they recently repealed the death penalty. Not only that, but hanging was still on the books in NH as one of the possible means of execution, until earlier this year! So, he won’t have to worry about mobs of people…

Somewhere Sarah McLachlan just came on the arm of an angel.

Just wait until the expansion team

Dear Millennials,

Also the Battlehawk is in Charlie Kelly’s diary right next to the Denim Chicken.

...wait...

The Founders are right in all things