"Flex those 12" pythons."

"No words to describe what we're seeing here"

Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto Aaron Rodgers the things that are Rodgers'

If FIFA vacated every game played under a cloud of white powder, Maradona's whole career would look like a CIA document.

What the hell does the "+" next to the Deadspin logo at the top do? When you click it, it turns into a check mark. THANKS A LOT FOR YOUR CYPTIC WEBSITE RED HERRINGS, DAULERIO

The suit was dropped without Jordan ever submitting to a DNA test, so I'll guess we'll never find out if he is indeed Grant's father.

"They got trained to watch a guy slip into a coma for no fucking reason"

"You gotta cup the balls, sonny"

-Sharon Shenocca

So is Gawker going to ever acknowledge the fact that Kinja has allowed their commenting system to be taken over by spammers and no-content trolls?

Yeah, I read that. It didn't really give any of his motivations or destinations, however.

So what happened to Daulerio? Did he leave Gawker?

Apparently you work up quite the thirst voting against the "Violence Against Women Act". Misogyny is a hydrated man's game.

Injured Christian Ponder Couldn’t Throw The Ball Farther Than 10 Yards

That's the joke.

THE Ohio State University

I think Mike Shanahan watched Django Unchained and walked away with all the wrong conclusions.

I'm so fucking stoked for the Sophie's Choice Bowl 2013, brought to you by Larry's Lutefisk.

"[R]eading comprehension is a dying art in America, sort of like...running minstrel shows"

Tony Dungy really needs to stop using the raising of his sons as examples for things.

Exactly.