NEGATIVE IT WAS A CAT

http://www.avclub.com/artic…

Spoiler: it's just one novel-length article spread out over thousands of individual tweets.

Literally anything is a better use for eating them. Using the sugar as a boltlocker is better. Scraping them on your hair to emulate being blond is a better use for them.

It's like, you pee afterwards and you can smell how much sugar just went through your kidneys and you imagine how much stayed and caused a huge insulin spike and got processed into fat and wreaked general havoc and you're like "this was a poor decision."

I was told, in the late 90s, that "tight" had been replaced with "tech."

Oh man I loved popcorn balls when I was a kid. They helped signal the beginning of holiday season, and with my sweet tooth they were never too much. I should make some of those.

The A.V. Club
I love how that c[…] drips down my chin and tickles the back of my throat.

I MADE A POOP CAKE HAHAHAHA

SHAMPOO HORNS
GLUE SNIFFING
CASUAL HOMOPHOBIC MURDER BY GOLF CLUBS (almost)

Uh, I knew someone with a Polish last name once and I've also listened to "Weird Al" Yankovic, so I'm pretty sure that's pronounced "jizz kavetch."

My coworker was walking by as I was watching the video and asked "Is that Skrillex?"

Your mother sews socks that smell!

LIQUOR! ALRIGHT!
"-ish"
DAMMIT

That's a joke?

I like Boston Baked Beans better anyway.

The Interview? Not really worth it, IMO. VERY biased.

The headstone would be 50 feet tall and just say "…OF COCK" at the bottom.

that's awesome. Reminds me of Cosmic Psycho's Can't Come In.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Damn, son.