I personally find that the more factually accurate a joke, the funnier.

That's ridiculous. No way that movie could ever get made.

I used to smoke and that was hard to give up, and got REAL used to Ambien much more quickly than I felt was safe, so anything inherently dangerous and addictive seems like a bad bet for me. Back when I was young enough to think that doing drugs was a good use of my time, I'd research as much as possible first. Kept…

I once read that of the people that try it, roughly 1/4 have a bad time and never do it again, 1/4 become complete hopeless junkies, and the rest are able to manage it. Anecdote != data though.

"Seeeeeeee meeeee….."

LISA NEEDS POSTAGE

Yeah, and you'd find this really obscure band that was doing things no one else was doing (Kyuss was that band for me) and you'd proselytize and dig deeper to find more obscure bands doing even awesomer things!

I just call it "that movie I used to like until I learned that Luc Besson got his wife pregnant at 15 and now the "child with the mind of an adult" aspect of Matilda really creeps me out"

It's broken, just like the puppy's back.

Here's the plot of the first one. It's… not really a "story" movie…

* "a-keecking"

But what will happen?

You forgot the part where they drive like they are literally suicidal. That's not even hyperbole.

SHHHHHHHH

Shock collar?

Sorry, arthritis was acting up.

What about the 4' though?

Nay, let's see where it goes.

Yep. I described it to my wife as Tom Hanks being Tom Hanks during the Cold War.

EAT LEAD! BEETS ARE GREAT WITH GOAT CHEESE AND SPINACH!