We (the other hikers and I) began calling crew-cut-man “Michigan” behind his back, because he repeatedly said he was from Michigan, even though his accent put him square in Kentucky. Michigan told us he worked at a United Auto Workers plant for 30 years up in Detroit, “doin’ brakes.”

Check his brain for CTE

They’re not clearing a path for me as I drive along.

Beat me to it. Bumper stickers in general. It’s the equivalent of dialing a random phone number, espousing a belief, and hanging up.

I’ll drive to Peru! With lots of sudden stops and starts! Dump the milk, Edith, the cat’s drinking unleaded from now on!

Or never went to school

Sponsored by Subway. Eat Fresh!

It’s like justice is blind or something.

- The best era for music was when you were 18-24

Night Drive is awesome too

I remember Douglas Wilson throwing so much shade on her.

It’s like the face and head were made in separate places, then were combined in an accident like in those old Reese’s commercials.

I didn’t realize Starcade was still on the air.

1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila FLOOR is upset too.

“My dear boy, couldn’t you just try acting?”

Dax Shepard looks like Zach Braff’s older a-hole brother.

Ugh, I just had a Ain’t It Cool News flashback.

It was during the parade, on a float, to Mickey Mouse (or another character).

I laughed ‘til I shuddered.