Living in Texas. Have had emails from coworkers with a signature wishing me a merry christmas. The one that made my eye rolls so hard was the precious moment picture of the nativity.

he’s a vampire? The sparkly kind or the Buffy kind?

In the long run it’s going to be the best thing for you, your husband, and your daughter. You are setting a very good example for her! Internet hugs!

They’re discriminated against all the time. They all live in their parents basements, pushing the BMIs to max levels, but don’t have super hot girlfriends. They should have super hot girlfriends without having to do anything. Girls should just fall at their feet for them.

Not even that. I think that majority of the public don’t even care. They probably didn’t even know there was a department of energy.

and a shortened achilles tendon.

At least you can use the jar for something else. You could say you spent $78 for the handmade porcelain jar, and got a free candle.

I remember when the Notre Dame students wanted to protest when Obama was set to be the commencement speaker after he was first elected.

I bet his handshake is terrible. Just limp and cold with strangely smooth skin.

I want to get on this list. I’m not a professor but I work at a University.

I’d much rather see if full of protestors.

I don’t usually like to make comment on someone’s appearance and/or clothes, but what the fuck is she wearing? That’s a scarf? Have I been living under a rock that scarfs are now the size of tablecloths? It honestly looks like a piece of fabric (including the frayed edges) that she just wrapped around her neck.

I’ve met him on several occasions, always extremely nice.

So if I open a trust fund for my future children but it’s always empty, can I have abortions carte blanche because I have no money for their medical expenses or education?

And do not forget to make her pay child support.

How about we take all the crazy religious zealots in Texas and move them to an island?

Don’t forget that Texas has one of the highest maternal death rates in the country. So Texas really doesn’t care about it’s mothers. Just the fetuses.

If I were that pizza place, I’d sue the shit out of him.

Let your kid wear his goddamn light up dinosaur shoes to school, just like all of his friends. Don’t make his likes feel insignificant. This breaks my heart so much!!

Please someone tell Aubrey Plaza this!! I can only imagine what she would do as Mariah Carey. It would be a bright spot in a cold, dark world.