The Mootrix?

It was right there . . .

As long as I can still make horrifying creatures I’m OK if the other players can get their pretty boys.

Sadly the days of horse crotch unification have passed, we must stand under our carriages and demand to be heard “I WANT A FLOPPER” 

Regardless of their motivations, it’s nice to see they did the kid a solid. 

“Hit me with teh birch rod, christmas mommy”

I assumed getting murdered by Krampus at the end of a hotly contested Call of Duty match would be objectively funny, but it seems players are less than pleased with the mythological creature’s ability to affect online competition so dramatically.

I usually avoid the folks in aprons and just wait for a middle-aged dad type fellow shopper to show up and offer some unsolicited advice.  If you stand in one spot for long enough, one will just materialize and start talking at you.

Some of the players made fun of a dev for being bald so now 40 bears will murder them. Standard procedure.

The spray stuff turns my armpits to ground beef. I’d never even consider putting it on my ballsack.

“multiple small and large scale studies have failed to find a convincing causal association between aluminum exposure in humans and Alzheimer’s disease.”

Honestly it could have been written by a goose or a cat. Geese know they are assholes and are proud of it. 

Sounds great, but I’d rather play the game where a cat inadvertently pushes the big red button to bring on nuclear winter because it’s fascinated by the bright object, but then through a comedy of errors unpushes it...and repushes it...and on and on, all while the soldiers around you don’t understand what’s happening…

For some reason this reminds me of all the times I’ve survived slipping in the tub.

Yes, we call that kind of privileged person “legitimately privileged”.

This. Any car on the wheelspin will inevitably plummet in value and be available extremely cheaply on the auctionhouse, so you’re mostly doing them for the cosmetics. Being able to fast travel anywhere is HUGE, and (assuming there are still boards that reduce fast travel cost) you can then use that ability to very…

The one about orange roads is wrong, I’m afraid.

Wheelspins are a dime a dozen in the game, your residence money is MUCH better spent on the house that allows you to fast travel to any road. After spending 200+ hours in the last game, being able to fast travel directly to event locations is one of the more useful and time saving things you can buy.

I need someone to give me a guide to tuning.  I want to do more than just use other peoples tunes.

Roads you haven’t driven on are dark grey, not orange. They turn white when you’ve driven on them if they’re a paved road, and they turn red/orange when you drive on them if they’re offroad/dirt. Maybe you have some sort of accessibility option turned on that’s showing them as orange? 

Here’s one to add to the list: How Elimination works. Because the game tells you jack shit.