BREAKING NEWS: Domestic violence is no more. Sources say that reports of domestic disputes have dropped to zero.

Saw the article header here on Jezebel, eyebrows went up as my curiosity spiked. Read the 1st graf, then the 2nd, and then slowed down a bit, certain I'd missed some vital sentence in graf 3 by then. "So, wait, the pants-crapper is actually this dude? Then where did they mention his costume, or somesuch? Nooo, no…

This is an awesome story, except when I first read the headline I read "gopher" and imagined some lady scaring the crap out of an adorable pants-wearing Punxsutawney Phil. Poor bepantsed Punxsutawney Phil.

Ew. Go away, Belieber.

Where did I belittle him? Justin Bieber is the Biebs no matter how dickish he gets. He has done many dickish things outside of racist jokes. I'm sure it gives him extra Biebspower.

#NOTALLDOGS

Lemme guess, you're a cat

Well, to be fair, baby-owners can be pretty annoying too. I would personally rather sit near a dog at a restaurant than a baby; dogs are usually quieter.

That is the ultimate in bullshit. Person does horrible thing. Only an insane person would do horrible things. Therefore we never have to examine any cultural or institutional factors that lead to horrible things. Guns? Misogyny? Nope, just mental illness, nothing to see here, move along.

Well, since there seems to be lots of evidence of the assault, I hope that the assailants are arrested. If that does not happen, I hope that Tyra and Janell file a lawsuit against the authorities for not prosecuting, and against the perpetrators themselves.

It's more like they shrunk the entire upper half of her body, so it doesn't match the lower half anymore.

His hair is unsettling to me.

MRAs aren't for equal rights. They're a hate group. A group whose members say you should let a 4 year old girl drown because she might grow up to be a feminist, thinks sexual harassment is female privilege and defends the doxxing and harassment of women online does not deserve to be equated with a movement that…

Oh gee wilikers I had you all wrong!

Maybe he just rats it a little on top.

You never really hear of firefighter shitstorms. It's always the police, really.

Are we sure this isn't the same rabbit?

Call me crazy, but I thought that we'd established that Girls was tongue in cheek and that few people got it. They actually stopped playing it at their shows after a while.....because nobody got it and they didn't like the idea of it being taken at face value.

I love female breadwinners. I'd love nothing more than for my wife to eventually make enough money to make ours a one-income household. I house-husbanded after I got out of the Army, then again going to college, and it is the sweetest gig on Earth. If more men knew about it-

bye Felicia