Aw dang. I was kind of hoping for some tips on the signalling interest segment, as opposed to making fun of people who don't know how to do that. Because I don't know how to signal interest or availability, for reals. That's the explanation I've always received for why I am never ever approached by interested…

The year was 2008 and I'd gathered all my tools as an Agent of Chaos. After receiving the affirmative when asking my friends if they'd be at work April 1st, I headed to the apartment assured the door would be kept unlocked by the roommate in cahoots. Upon my arrival it occurred to me that roomie might have been lying…

Oh hell no. I get seven hours during the week and at least 10 on the weekends. It requires me to go to bed at 10 pm on the weeknights, which strikes me as a ridiculous time to go to sleep, but if I don't get at least seven hours of night night time, I will murder someone.

AM I THE ONLY GOD DAMN PERSON WHO HATES CHAMPAGNE? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

My husband once jokingly said "Bros before hoes" at some gathering of friends (I stress jokingly, as he would choose me over anybody any day), and out of nowhere, I responded, "WIFE BEFORE LIFE." I think I got a standing ovation.

Be his muse. His hopes and dreams come first. Your hopes and dreams have been realized because you are someone's muse.

I think you have bigger problems than keeping a man if the one you have has no moral compass. Say being murdered in your sleep by your sociopath boyfriend

I hate that we automatically defer to some black or white default in these stories—it's not that we're saying "the cops are to blame." I think that's absurd. But see my reply to another poster above. It's not about "blaming" the cops. It's about looking at a terrible accident that involved the police and asking what…

Thanks! I would say this about being defensive about "police blaming" in this instance—keep in mind that police chases have been banned in some places because of the terrible consequences that have occurred. I don't like "police bashing" but there are certainly instances you can point to where the idea of having tons…

Oh honey, he's from Longview Tx. Watch the movie "Bernie", that's what east Texas sounds like.
I love it!

it's a texas accent, not southern. ;-) and the texas town he is from is definitely gonna come with a thicker accent than someone like me who grew up in houston (but still has one). the east coast is def fake since he's never been from there. i think he's just stopped faking it so much.

He's always had that accent, in my opinion. That's an authentic Texan accent (I live in Texas, by the way). Our accent isn't as thick as those from the Deep South (I don't care what movies/TV say).

Matthew grew up in East Texas and his accent is genuine. As most Texans, even if you move out of the state, when you are passionate about something, your accent comes back even thicker. And...let him enjoy the spotlight. He earned it!

I don't watch much news, I thought George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight was a joke title about George Stephanophelouslfoeyuah

I couldn't believe Jez would stoop to a Camille Paglia reference without using it as a chance to rip into her but then I realized that Jez knows its readership well enough to know that would be taken care of soon enough.

Honestly I'm kind of relieved Camille Paglia is spending her time marathon-watching The Real Housewives instead of writing more astoundingly tonedeaf and wrongheaded screeds about feminism. It's sort of the way I feel about George W. Bush painting pictures of dogs; whatever keeps you two nitwits occupied and out of…

Ah, yes, Paglia...and her verbose faux-feminist trolling.