“the average NFL game (which takes 3-3.5 hours) has ELEVEN minutes of actual action.”

Excellent kinja. But you just had to break your own rule to do it.

Because soccer is awful, therefore everything they do is awful. You’re welcome.

I agree with Jane

I’m sorry, are you out here arguing against saying “Hello?” when answering the phone?

i admire brian’s wife for devising such a brilliant little scheme to keep him from getting fat & happy.

I did what I had to do.

This. If I ask my kid what she wants, 99 times out of 100 she will say mac and cheese. And then I’ll have to tell her no, because that’s all she ever wants to eat. And then she’ll completely melt down. At least when I just say, I’m making ___ it will be, but I don’t like that, and it’s done. Never negotiate with…

That was a few years ago but, its true, I felt like a God manipulating the forces of light and dark at my whim.

I was preparing my “damn, I was so happy to be done with fugging apartment living when I bought my hou...” response.

this is all well and good, but where is the funbag?

That was a really long-winded and indirect way of saying, “Because of Bill Simmons.”

How can you possibly hate Brady more than you hate Cutler?

You know in war movies when a bomb goes off an theres that high pitched ringing and haze over the camera? That's what I think its like to be Eli every day.

Yeah, because you’re the first guy to ever take a piss on Fenway Park

Enough with the cheating thing already. Deflating balls a half PSI, a few extra video tapes, so what? It’s not like the Patriots murdered anyone...

Cool story.

Gronk is basically a special needs kid, I can’t imagine how you can hate him.

pretty sure its traveshamockery. but you do you.

The future Darwin Award recipient with the Patriots helmet tattooed on his head actually lives down the street from me in New Hampshire. And yes, he does live in a crack house.