this was an unexpected bit of illumination about water patterns in Brazil.

No it doesn't. There are others of us thinking the same thing. Maybe we need to find some new oil wells or rare earth materials used in iproducts over there. Maybe that's what it takes for our ruling elite to care?

Hope Solo is still in jail.

There you go.

Hey there, lumberjack. Mind showing me your wood?

Is it just me or do her parenting comments actually sound somewhat level-headed and normal? No, definitely not perfect. But not as terrible as I would have expected. I agree with her on taking time for friends and to do things that are "important" for your own personal well being (I suspect she and I might…

Everyone is blowing this is off as some weird fetish-y thing and missing Mark's larger point: this is becoming normal. Let me repeat that again: hardcore, extreme and often dangerous sexual acts, overwhelmingly involving women, are becoming more and more normalized. Things that should be seasoned fetishes and…

Dont' worry. I've got it covered.

The fact that I even see this as remotely possible says quite a lot about Cosmo...

THIS GIF IS THE MOST DISTURBING PART OF THIS ARTICLE

The actual prolapse doesn't just happen and actresses have to train to get the bud to occur when they want. To be able to rosebud effectively, actresses need to have prolonged sessions with multiple massive objects so that their rectal walls become loose and easy to push right out. Training might also include sleeping…

Actual verbatim gchat conversation that happened at 3:30 AM EST:

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He looks so sad.

I bet he needs a hug.

From a running lawn mower.

Guys. For $2 I will kill you off on my Tumblr devoted to Jezebel commenter fanfic. Be the first one to die in the next edition of my hit series "Lesbian Shitasses 3: Problematic Lentils and Diva Cups."

I think you just penned her concise obituary. This would also make a lovely epigraph for her tombstone.

Everything is rape.

Every time I see a photograph of Ms. Cox, all I can think is that the only explanation for this goddess having been born into a male body is because she was using it as a chrysalis.