Summer of 2015, TESTICULAR TORSION! Then complications from the initial surgery! Thank god everything works properly.

I would just like to say I have that Georgia O’Keefe print in my bathroom. So everyone has to look at pussy while sitting on my toilet.

I wear a 10.5 6E. So I have wide-ass feet like a bear or clown or something.

They do! And they're not just for women! I have several magic wand attachments for men. That go in my butt (not all at the same time).

They do! And they're not just for women! I have several magic wand attachments for men. That go in my butt (not all…

Oh the good ol’ W123.

I would love an Ativan! Or seven. As is, my doctor has refused to prescribe me any buenos for panic attacks so I’ve been drunk since May of 2015 and am checking myself into rehab tomorrow. Woooo!

“What’s everyone drinking tonight?”

I’m just gonna leave this here:

It’s actually a state by state basis. In Oklahoma we don’t have a mandated lunch.

It would be nice if they included a Thunderbolt port or something in the PS4 to support this as an add on. Although yeah, the 32X is a possibility.

Because of the way my RSS reader shows embeds I thought this was going to be related to the “Would you fuck a goat for your true love?” post on Gawker.

Jesus Christ. If I found out I (or my partner) was having two sets of identical twins I would be like “Ok, honey, which set do you think is the least cute, because one of them is getting evicted”

Yes, I laughed out loud at that which caused me physical pain (I recently cracked a rib due to coughing).

I may kill myself after reading this.

Patience, time, poppers, and a fuckton of Crisco.

Non fourth horseman from Destiny? Come on, a full auto shotgun! It’s amazing in Crucible

That’s pretty much similar to my dad. He had been urinating himself for a year. Doctor kept saying diabetes, which seemed probable. But it very much was not diabetes. They never did an MRI, anything until September of ‘08. And we did everything, MD Anderson, experimental trials, whatever. In August of ‘09 he passed…

So glad you made it! Your story ends much better than my fathers.

Like any Kardashian

Oh my phone is too big, I mean the whole plastic box that holds the Pip-boy and the game. It's like a clamshell thing and it keeps popping open. So annoyed.