What I find worse is when they call to ask why the picture no longer fills their 20 year old 4:3 TV. “Uh because everything is shot in 16:9 now and get a new fucking TV dude”

Oh thank god this isn't Oklahoma. #winning!

Yeah let’s pass the “abort anything that could potentially be an anchor baby” act. That's a lot fucking easier than repealing the 14th amendment, you asshats.

Disclaimer: I’m a dude

Actually yeah it kind of fucking is.

And you apply a one-time credit of $10 for the inconvenience!

Yep. Exact same as if someone says “I’m not racist, but....” they really should never finish that sentence. But they always do.

Thanks I'll check that out! I did AA for a year, stone cold sober, and I just...I can't buy into the spiritual stuff. Maybe one day, but not now. Or probably ever.

Yeah fixing this sober thing now. So I'll probably feel worse tomorrow. I'm so tired of continuously doing this.

I had my tonsils out at 31. It was fucking horrible. Also I had that extremely rare complication where it doesn't cauterize properly and I was bleeding in my mouth and collapsed and an ambulance had to come get me. This is not normal, you'll be fine.

Oh my god I’m so mad I forgot about Saturday Night Social.

Someone on Facebook Friday night asked how the debate was. I said it was a total shitshow but Kasinch and Jeb sounded reasonable, and as to be expected Trump was horrible and provided no actual answers.

#lifehack

I would go with A, just so I could hyphenate my name to “April Love-Thicke”

This makes me think she's going to fall out of favor with the UFC when people stop spending $60 in her fights because they know they'll be done in 30 seconds.

Ok good, this is the case so I'm in the clear!

What is your opinion of this: a nice sushi restaurant I go to has another menu that is only available on request and is kind of a secret? If I go in I’m like “Can I please have the ‘other’ menu?” Because it seriously has some delicious shit that's not on the normal menu.

Lightning cable code has expired

Lightning cable code has expired

Well like soliciting prostitution or something.

Here's hoping they don't try to charge her with something. Ugh.