But this armadillo just wants to snuggle WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID MY NOSE JUST FALL OFF MY FACE

Yep.

Hey it's not like they're Fox News and show a suicide on live TV because of no tape delay.

Rich, white.

No.

Gross!

Thank you! I’ll have to look into that! I don’t have high hopes because whenever I try things like that they usually tell me I make too much money. And I make decent money for where I live on paper...but I also have bills, student loans, trying to do some support for my 72 year old mother, life stuff.

Actually maybe rehoming her isn’t a bad idea. Like troll those places where you can give away your adopted children and give her to a “nice” family.

Happy Saturday everyone! I’m sitting here recuperating from massive ball trauma I endured on the 2nd of July. I’m out of work until the 20th so I’ve been catching up on OITNB and promoting my indiegogo fund to support my medical bills. I have good health insurance but it’s still globe to be like $4200 after two…

But is @midnight going to do Shart Week again??? That’s what's really important.

Could this possibly have been removed because the subject looks like he’s under 13?

She’s awesome. Her wedding was going to be held in Brooklyn (where she lives) but then she saw how much it was going to cost for the venue and everything else and was like “Fuck it let’s do Vegas!”

Amanda is that you?

It’s true, penis CAN surprise you!

Oh god I know. I got the F22 too. Oh well, still better than that time Jezebel told me I was a Maxi Dress.

I had seriously been considering a (used) Q7 for my next car. These posts made me settle on another Acura. Probably an MDX. So boring, but reliable!

Like seriously what the fuck is that real?

Destiny consumers are used to getting double penetrated in every orifice.

Apparently! I forgot this existed. Well I guess it doesn't, actually.

Tilda, you’re an amazing, glorious unicorn person, and everything but I feel like there’s not much learning at that school. I mean, I’d love to go there, but lucky for your kids, they have a rich famous mommy.