Or you could just, you know, buy a phone you can afford. 

OK, so tell the truth, who WANTS their kid to turn out like Wesley Crusher?

My Instant Pot from Warehouse arrived with a dent in the side, but it worked perfectly.

On the bright side, if Taft’s bathtub is still in the White House, Donnie will fit in it.

That’s nice. We have a waterbed with a solid pedestal.

That’s nice. We have a waterbed with a solid pedestal.

I had to have a molar pulled in the early 90s due to a massive infection, after some you-don’t-want-to-hear-about-it surgery failed to fix the problem.

It does take some experimentation to get the right placement for a Leaf. When I first put one in my office I could pick up either channel 5 or channel 2 but not both. (This is in Los Angeles where there are well over a hundred channels in the scan.) I had to move the Leaf from place to place to place and finally ended…

Back in those dear dead days beyond recall, there were only three channels and they all played football games at the same time. My dad, who was very hard of hearing, stood next to the TV with a hand behind his ear (his only “hearing aid”) and watched a game till a commercial came on, changed channels and watched the…

If I absolutely must go to the mall, I take public transit.

I used to have one of those. Don’t remember the manufacturer, but it had waffles, a griddle and a grill. Naturally, I dropped one of the waffle plates and broke it. The other two options kept working for quite a while.

It’s recipes like this that make me think about getting a waffle maker.

Yes, she definitely is!

Nah, my mom was a narcissist who could play the martyr like nobody’s business. We always complimented her on a great meal even after getting the ten thousandth repetition of “If you kids would just PITCH IN around here....”

My daughter brings a smoked turkey from Whole Foods and the family is content.

Now I AM the older person (gonna be 69 in a few days) and what I remember about Thanksgiving is that my mom always played the martyr and acted like making the meal was SO HARD and nobody HELPED her (but she didn’t want help when we offered). When I made my first Thanksgiving meal after I went out on my own and…

If I didn’t live in Los Angeles I would say Waffle House.

For pete’s sake, everyone. THOSE ARE NOT YAMS. They are sweet potatoes. Some food company called orange sweet potatoes “yams” as a marketing ploy decades ago. They were not yams then and they are not yams now. Yams are tough, fibrous tubers that are definitely not orange.

Yeah, right. People always picks weenies.

Many local farmers markets have someone whose profession it is to sharpen knives, who will do yours for a very reasonable fee.

Seriously, guy, Mary Poppins got there first.