I bought my kids and my granddaughter rainbow-colored white-chocolate “unicorn poo emoji” bars at Cost Plus. 

There was a person who made my life hell in grade school (yes, I know that’s a long time ago). I was still full of anger and resentment even after 50 years. Then I talked with a mutual friend and found out that this person made a point of making everyone miserable, and had died a pretty horrible death from cancer.

Habit Burger, now that’s a fine choice any old day! Their tempura green beans are great, too. You can pretend you’re eating healthy stuff.

I won’t willingly eat tater tots, either. Got too damn many of them when I was a kid, because my dad loved all kinds of “gimmicky” foods like that.

I’ll take your word for it. I’ve never been drunk.

Nothing at Chick Fil A is an option for me. My granddaughter has two mommies.

It was cool in the 50s and 60s too. At least according to my parents and all their drunk-ass friends, who still amaze me to this day by not geting killed driving home from parties.

They gotta get up to take a leak anyway.

You’re right, but you’ll get a lot of blowback on this issue, I’m sure. Can’t be festive without booze, right?

I have NEVER understood the appeal of crinkle cut fries.

If you’re dumb enough to tweet about sticking it to the IRS, you deserve to get caught.

Fortunately, our granddaughter came along just about the same time our son started thinking abou getting rid of his huge collection of Legos. We put them in a Rubbermaid bin with some warm water and Dawn, sloshed them around, dumped out the water and rinsed them, then spread them on the picnic table in the sun to get…

Do they still keep women out of the places with the naughty pictures? My grandmother told me about that, and she was still pissed about it years later.

I remember that broadcast vividly after all these years. Despite the chaos in the world back then, it was a good time to be alive.

Sit on it, Donnie.

Umpty-ump years ago we told the kids they could not turn on the TV after school till their homework was done. You can imagine how well that worked.

One of my brothers worked in an Amazon warehouse (not in Minnesota) for a couple years. It was the highest paying job he could find, which gives you an idea of the economy in that area.

Get the Weird Al version instead, Word Crimes.

People my age learned about carbon-14 and strontium-90 from atmospheric atomic bomb testing.

She knew he was the one when he finally got around to paying her.