Please come to my house. We have four cats. I invite you to try out all these techniques on them.

If you buy an iFixit toolkit, be sure to buy their magnetic mat to go with it. Keeps all the parts organized so you don’t have to wonder which goes where. Comes with its own pen to label the divisions.

If you buy an iFixit toolkit, be sure to buy their magnetic mat to go with it. Keeps all the parts organized so you…

Yeah....  if you want to see a VS salesperson vanish, ask for a bra in 40B.

Supposedly the fire dept had to call the sheriffs in to help them drag out a homeowner who was refusing to leave even though his house was actually on fire.

I know two people who kept working doodly-squat dead-end jobs so they could “be free for auditions.” Neither of them ever got their “big break” as an actor and both ended up pretty well destitute.

Costco used to have a very tasty “holiday loaf.” Haven’t seen it there for a couple years and Trader Joe’s alternative isn’t as good.

If you’re looking for microfiber cloths at Target, buy them in the automotive department instead of in “housewares.” They won’t come in the cute pastel colors but you’ll get more in a package for a lower price.

Yeah, my daughter told me this lie. If I only tried them cooked properly I would change my mind!

But..... but..... she was just doing what Mean Mr. Mushroom told her to do!

Hmmm. We have four cats and it’s been a while since I checked under there.

Nothing anyone does to brussels sprouts will make them edible. Ew.

You didn’t read what that proposition actually says.

I see you’ve worked for Fry’s.  :)

I used to work at Fry’s. You’re correct, you are under no obligation to let the door nazi look at your receipt. There is nothing they can do if you just walk out.

What a great idea! Can’t believe in all these years I never thought of that. Thank you!

I like Starbucks cold brew. It does NOT taste burnt. I also like Stok Chocolate.

OMG that looks good. On my list. My mom was not a casserole person in general and the number of classic dishes my brothers and I never heard of is distressingly long.

It’s been too long since you took a bath.

Pssst:  “Poisonous” is when you bite it, you die. “Venomous” is when it bites you, you die.

I should mention that we live in Los Angeles where the winters don’t actually get cold (especially not for someone who spent 6 years in northern Wisconsin). Since warm air rises, having the fan push it down makes it feel warmer in the room.