Oh man, when I was about seven I used to walk around loudly singing along to 'Sexuality' by Billy Bragg. Worth Googling the lyrics to that, just in case you want to know just how traumatised my parents were.

I went looking for a picture to commemorate this happy event and this was the only one that could capture the emotion:

Ha! Nobody knows, it's like the Toynbee Tiles of Jezebel. I took a look at her site and it included such vital evidence as Marc Jacobs having a model pose by a newsstand... a pose the site owner had invented two years earlier! SUSPICIOUS.

Whereas PETA, of course, aren't cool with having pets but have no problem slaughtering countless animals.

Kanye would probably give me some amusing anecdotes. And I don't like his music as much as I like Morrissey's, so it wouldn't be the painful disappointment that comes with learning someone you grew up loving is this much of a prick.

One thing I've learned from skimming Morrissey's autobiography is that everything he says - every single thing he says - could be one of his lyrics. Seriously, imagine him keening "And Obama laaaaaaughs..." over a 'November Spawned a Monster'-style melodramatic soundscape. It fits so beautifully.

Seriously, though, the point he was actually making wasn't even as good as that.

It's enough to make you wish we could quantitatively measure the number of fucks that are given or not given by a person at any one time, just to shut them up.

I wonder if this is anything to do with Marc Jacobs, who controls her and many other celebrities. Sadly, we may never know.

By asking you to listen to other people. Good lord, the oppression of it all.

I'm seeing the problem here; you think being asked to listen to somebody else is the same thing as being victimised.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Nobody's asking you to take your ball and go home, you know - you could have, I don't know, listened to the points being made and responded based on knowledge rather than steaming in with an insulting and inaccurate caricature of them? But yes, we're all evil anti-white fascists trying to censor…

At least two asses in that picture.

I've got to admit, before this the only time I associated The Sound of Music with genitals was this oft-misheard line.

Because your straw-manning of the intelligent points other people were making annoyed me.

Biiiiiig Papa Smurf.

What about insensitivity to other people's experiences, messages, ideas and perspectives, which you're displaying by making this all about "WELL I HAVEN'T LISTENED TO ANYTHING YOU'RE SAYING BUT I ASSUME YOU'RE SAYING WHITE PEOPLE ARE ALL EVIL WAH WAH WAH"?

I do agree, and it's got worse over the last thirty years. It's an unnerving picture of how social mobility is on the slide in this country, that our entertainment industry is dominated by this avalanche of Nigellas and Benedicts and Tuppences and Ruperts (all of whom I love! But let's get some Traceys and Mikeys in…

You are aware that Gwen Stefani got hell over that, aren't you? Because you seem to be using it as an example of a thing nobody had a problem with, and it really didn't fall into that category.

Right, let's be offended on behalf of pop stars who've faced mild criticism instead. Much more sensible thing to be offended by.