All the long-term Hollywood couples are going south these days. Sadface.

It felt like he'd avoided this step, didn't it? Always seems like a nice guy, increasingly giving credible performances in good movies - I breathed a sigh of relief that at least one of those Disney kids had made it through to adult roles without a horrible meltdown. Then this.

Oh god, I missed that. There was just too much horror to take in.

Velour, eh?

Aggravated Twattishness.

THAT SHIRT. I'm a Doctor Who fan who listens to OutKast, so I've seen some loud clothes, but that is the fucking worst.

I also did a Google image search and as well as that picture it also brought up a picture of Michael Cera as Scott Pilgrim. That felt weirdly appropriate.

That sounds like a pretty tame impala.

The Fast and the Furious cover is kind of brilliant - it suggests a whole new direction for the franchise, as Benedict Cumberbatch and Nigel Havers blast through the streets of Coventry in souped-up horseless carriages, sometimes reaching speeds of thirty-two miles per hour!

"Technology does not have to mean that expression becomes clumsier", said Gove, before adding "I mean, did you read my old column in the Times? That was printed on good old-fashioned paper, and it was dumber than a YouTube comments section."

I love this, because it means one of the most famous and desired women in the world went round Scotland ostensibly trying to pick up strangers for sex and nobody noticed. Evidently the Leveson report really did put the fear of god into Britain's tabloid press.

Bra wars! The Russ Meyer version of Star Wars!

This is my favourite long song in the "dark, experimental, polymathematic, mind-blowing" category:

Alison Goldfrapp is not impressed.

Alright, now Game of Thrones has to return the love. Let's get Big Bird cameoing as a dragon!

I'm trying to imagine what sound I'd believe Bill Clinton's penis would make. I think I'll go for a folksy chuckle followed by "Daaaaw, you got me."

He can't hear your question unless it's in the form of a cartoon dick drawn on a .jpeg.

I feel the same way about BDSM. I'm thinking of starting up a chain of clubs where us last few people who aren't a "top" or a "bottom" can enjoy our shameful, perverted, kink-free lifestyles away from the judging eyes of the world.

And all while holding down his day job of fronting the Flaming Lips!