On the rocks? Like Arthur 2? It all makes nonsense now!

I suspect they're not that serious. Stefani has a world-beating gift for hyperbole, even in court.

I mean, I love Benedict Cumberbatch, but his is not the kind of erotic allure that could change a lifelong orientation. I have had friends who've identified as gay but ended up in an opposite-sex relationship, but it's been a long, difficult, questioning process, one that can't really be depicted in Moffat's…

Gotta get some Hernandez brothers comics. Funny, lewd, heartfelt, and with as wide a range of ages and body sizes as you could hope for. I love them.

The picture isn't showing for me, so I'm just going to imagine what it shows. Man, that's dirty.

I'm so sorry to hear that you've got ringworm.

He's a canny salesman, Brand. He knows that if he writes enough meaninglessly prolix arguments about left-wing topics, people will overlook the fact that he thinks prank-calling a rape hotline is funny, or old men should feel humiliated if their granddaughter is sexually active, or that he generally can't see women…

Haha! Yes, it's almost like the men are listening to the women, in total defiance of nature! Call Hollywood, I have the new Planet of the Apes movie right here!

She is absolutely fucking brilliant, and it was hilarious when she outed that awful far-right website that tried to monster her for unforgivably introducing actual statistics and facts to a Question Time debate on immigration. They just disintegrated; belligerent keyboard warriors disarmed by a sweet woman in her…

She actually identified as "gay", which nearly made me put my foot through the fucking television.

Hi, I'm Real Captain Parsnips. You probably haven't heard of me - I'm more of a porn character actor.

...yeah, this sort of thing is why I don't like Caitlin Moran. Do as she says, not as she does. FFS, the number one rule of being a comedy/media type on UK Twitter is that you take Limmy with a pinch of salt.

I can't remember who did it (Denis Leary?) but there was a great stand-up routine about JFK when it came out, something along the lines of "You know, some people think the CIA killed Kennedy. Some people think the Cubans did it. Some people think the mafia did it. But only Oliver Stone thinks they all got together,…

And I'm comfortable with that. My view on Buffy is that we had five damn near perfect seasons, two shit ones and a forgettable set of comics. I love it, but dragging it out further will help nobody.

Catherine Keener! She's the coolest.

I think people see vampires as being like an extreme hickey? But I'm phobic about anything to do with the circulatory system; it's not at all sexy for me and freaks me out like nothing in this world.

The hell? I knew he had a shitty temper (he beat up that guy from The Von Bondies over some ridiculously small thing) but this is a line I wasn't expecting him to cross.

Oh my god, I thought I was the only person who did that. They have the local pop station on at work and I can only get through that song by making up my own lyrics.

I think when the best defence you can give a party is "Well, 150 years ago they were really awesome!" then they're pretty much finished.

Grumpy Cat has jumped the shark. All hail Boy George's Scorsese Cat!