I love it when people are confronted with the reality of a book they assumed was innocuous because it was in the school library and it's old. I remember reading an IMDb user review of Pasolini's Canterbury Tales which confidently asserted that Chaucer would be appalled by the sex and toilet humour PPP 'added'.

There really should be a Kickstarter where you can raise money to bribe someone into not making a product. Kickstopper?

Ugh. At least we know why Chris Brown's the way he is now.

I honestly have never met anyone who had a kind word to say about Die Another Day. It's ridiculous, but somehow in a much more obnoxious, much less fun way than other Bond movies.

The second one made me scream with laughter. I wonder what other lines he considered? "You are delicious, like Thai green curry"? "Your beauty kills me, like Pol Pot"? "I am deeply sinister, like a Takashi Miike film"?

A dunce's cap springs immediately to mind.

I think he probably did mean to call Stewart a self-loathing Jew. You know what tea baggers are like - they think that just because they're pro-Israel they basically own Judaism and get to say who is and isn't a 'real Jew'.

I suppose it must be his real hair. Would you actually buy that shit and wear it by choice?

There you go again, making me Zoroastrian coffee out of my nose.

Poor old Seth MacFarlane. It's hard being America's number one public intellectual, your mind aswim with Heidegger, string theory and lists of which celebrities died of cancer long ago enough for you to make a 'joke' about.

I like to imagine she parties with some of the other famous people who share her birthday, such as Iggy Pop and Robert Smith. This sort of thing is why I've always had trouble believing in astrology, incidentally.

Yeah, it strikes me as being more "sex-paranoid" than "sex-positive". I don't need another yardstick to measure how shit my life is, thanks Jez.

This is how Roger Moore did it.

That baby: it has lasers in its eyes, right?

The female Ice Warriors were more successful at subjugating Earth's population than the men.

If only we'd banned white wingnuts from America after the Utoya massacre. Ah well, we had our chance.

Maybe this is wishful thinking, but I'd like to think this is what it looks like when Jennifer Rubin actually learns a lesson. After the bombing in Norway a few years back she was all "THIS IS WHY WE NEED TO BOMB EVERY MUSLIM EVERYWHERE FOREVER" until the actual perpetrator was called, at which point she had to…

She did - a Branagh-directed As You Like It. I remember she had the best English accent I've ever heard a non-Brit give.

I don't mind the music being anachronistic, but it bothers me that he's so deadeningly literal-minded. That Florence Welch song about the green light - he must have been delighted to find that. "All I need now is a Ke$ha song about the emotional deadness of the jazz era!"

I can sympathise with this line of reasoning, but then I remember that one of her last public appearances involved advancing exactly the same argument to help Pinochet escape justice, and I become incoherent with rage.