When they reboot, and they will... I want

He looks like a Tim and Eric character.

How dare you. My Nana has that same hat and she looks lovely.

He looks like Chuck Mangione.

Werner Herzog and Baby Yoda is the love story we want, deserve, and need.

Crab apple wars were the best.

Dgs: you're not getting out of the greys on my account, but you could measure success thusly: Mr. Harriot is a professional writer who is paid to tell compelling stories. You're a sad bag of shit who's reduced to creating burner accounts so you can spend the evening hours trolling folks on this website. Congrats. It…

Early painful lessons on conservation of momentum.

There’s a very good chance a gyno told him these exact things, but stupid gonna stupid.

Easy, the “q” is silent.

Nonsense. Melania knows how to raise children. After all, the greatest principle in Melania’s life is that she may not harm, nor allow by inaction to come to harm, a human being. The second-greatest principle in Melania’s life is that she must obey all orders given to her by a human being, unless such orders would…

*golf commentator voice*

“What is the Answer " would've been amazing. 

Maxipads go on cunts, so this checks out.

Maybe this is a good place to brag on my wife (slightly OT):

Well, there’s your problem.  Cut a notch in the side and flip it over.  You get double the capacity that way.

i’ve had it with this antisemitic bullshit from these MAGAts. 

Ever since the MOVE bombing, I’ve refused to buy a house in Philadelphia.

I thought that they make Philly fans of you and me.

My brother told me the same thing.