She was 13 going on 29. I mean, come on — look at the photos. This outrageously great sexual incident was merely evidence of the high and (very) early regard I hold all women.

Hulkster: “You know Mean Gene, I want to thank the girls at Jezebel for that 31 million I just scored. I mean, you know they busted their tails making me that money. Uhn, it feeels good, let me tell you lol.”

My name is Lou. You kids like candy? Got a ton of candy in my van. It’s the white one

SUCK IT!

Hulk Hogan: “That gash, Merlan, has been working for me all these years, lol. I’m like the proto-conservative and these Jezebel gashes have been been hating in my little terrarium all this time, lol.

Hulk Hogan: “Toss my salad, Jezebels, lol. Gawker gold — weeee, lol.”

Hulk Hogan (on phone): “Send the Jezebels over to suck me off, lol”

Hulk Hogan: “I need my crotch washed. Send Aimee over, lol”

How does it feel to know that you’ve been working for Hulk Hogan for the last decade, lol?

Hulk Hogan awash in Gawker Gold. Bathed by Jezebels lol.