I went to see my grandma and great aunt for a week in Sun City, Arizona. Looking back, I wish I’d been able to go see them on every vacation, but I didn’t have the money. No drinking, just hanging out with relatives who loved me and who would both sadly be gone within 3 years.

Oh, close her legs! I bet she’s kicking herself, not thinking of that. Because that’s really all you have to do when someone stronger than you is overpowering you and assaulting you, just close your legs, and then they stop and go away.  Time-tested remedy for sexual assault.  It’s THAT EASY, people.

And the Foreign Legion doesn’t take women. I checked into it years ago. I was hoping to convince my sister.

I agree.  None of the colors were suprising.  What was more surprising was that three of the four of us have red hair.

I think (I’m totally making this up based on anecdote) that eye color can be different.  I have one parent with blue eyes and one parent with brown eyes.  There are four siblings; our eyes are brown, hazel, blue, and green.  So it seems like you can get something like averaging when it comes to eyes.  Just a…

I always use the left shift key except for the question mark. The question mark is made by using my pinky for the right shift key and my ring finger for the question mark. I guess I can’t tell where the question mark is in space without my right pinky on the shift key.

Any child of theirs will have red hair only if her father has red hair and the child inherits that gene from her. Red hair is recessive, so it’s possible Meghan has one red hair gene and one black hair gene (which gives her her black hair). Harry has to have two red hair genes, one from each parent, because that’s the…

You can tell who the Republicans fear by the people they attack.  They’re really worried about Joe Biden.  

Jennifer Baker, a spokeswoman for the N.R.A., told the Times that for “many of those ‘offenses’ — and I’m using air quotes here — the behavior that would qualify as a stalking offense is often not violent or threatening; it involves no personal contact whatsoever.”

You can always tell who the Republicans think is doing well by who they attack.  I guess they’re afraid of Joe Biden.

Chivalry?  What the hell does that mean?  The girls are helpless and trapped in towers by dragons and need to be rescued?  

Someday we’re going to look back at the time the government was held hostage by a fucking manufacturer’s association and realize how insane that was. Imagine an entire political party being ruled by the Pressure Sensitive Tape Council.

I can recite Die Lorelei auf Deutsch.  Danke, Frau Kovaleski!

HAHAHAHAHA!  Those are great.  Thanks for the laugh!

They’re not wearing dance belts?  Those are pretty much jockstraps for dancers.  I thought they were de rigueur, especially at performances.

Some day I’m going to read this stuff and my head really WILL burst into flames.

Or method 3, which I use: hook the ends behind my back and then pull it up.  I KNOW how bra shops tell you to do it, but I don’t care.

The yeast infection alone...

This is why women who have dated royalty break up with them.  There’s always someone saying you did something wrong or you’re mean to someone or you’re weird looking or your mother dresses you funny.  Why put up with that stuff when you don’t have to?

Or we were once un-greyed and then lost our burner key and had to get a new burner.  Now I’m grey again. I’m not bitter either.