I was trying to find the perfect gif for this post. You nailed it.

I have never read Franzen and am proud to keep that record unblemished.

But without the Charmin bears, we would never get to see this Twitter exchange.

YES! That fucking ad is REPULSIVE! Yes, strange lady, my pants are shit-streak free. Thanks for asking!

see now this would be an effective toilet paper commercial.

OR bring hot food with you from the restaurant you were at if you knew your child didn’t eat. Its not a hard concept to understand.

“Is your asshole clean enough to walk around without panties?” I mean, FFS.

I’m a horrible person, because when I see this ad all I can think is, “How desperate for work is this actress that she took this job?”

“has figured out how to process food into fuel”

I saw this toilet paper commercial the other day where this woman was asking random people if they wiped well enough to go commando, and I was genuinely uncomfortable. It takes a lot to embarrass me, but damn. That did it.

this is all lies

Clearly you’ve never had a 15 year old with autism have a shit fit in front of you. Put that situation in a cramped plane, and you’ve got a problem. It’s not about taking the plane down. It’s about the safety of the other passengers. Which wasn’t a problem until the mom painted a picture of her scratchin the other…

These people should never leave their houses ever for any reason.

I just want to clear a few things up as someone “in the know” about how airplanes and flight catering actually works.

While I still think the airlines suck about most of these I do agree with you. I had to fly pregnant, visibly pregnant, but with my doctor’s permission and not after the airline’s own permissible date.

My godson self-harms in his tantrums from autism, pretty seriously - breaking his own fingers, scratching himself - and his parents tend to get pretty hurt trying to stop him. So like, yeah, I can’t imagine that going on in an airplane and being ok. Anyone near him would probably get hurt in the mess, though he…

Or they could have brought the food onboard. It's not like there aren't a zillion kiosks selling hot food at an airport. Crappy hot food, yes, but hot food nonetheless. Even a sandwich can be heated up in a microwave which I'm sure the flight crew would have gladly done if the situation was QUIETLY explained to them.…

A guy I work with explained to me how easy it is to have your pet “authorized” as a comfort animal, thus permitting you to have your pet fly with you for free (which is why he did it). Basically you pay some on-line company (NOT a government agency) $35 for a certificate and tell the airline you travel with a…

She gets her shit together by the end, but the very first seconds are pure, “Are you fucking kidding me? Not THIS.” #eyerollFTW

That IS a good Vine.