Australian Rules Football and Hurling have confusing Rules, a bazillion players, and weird fields of play and everyone I’ve made watch a game has gotten hooked, but it’s mainly because of the chaotic play.

Dear American Legion old people. Sorry, but we’re directly responsible for almost every bad thing that's happened on this planet since you wrote your letter.

If I see University of Phoenix, I'm throwing your resume immediately into the trash.

I went to college and grad school so that I wouldn’t have to repair HVAC systems.

It's Japanese.

At $1,500...maybe.

That means a 737-700, with a passenger capacity of 149, gets 0.51 mpg.

The real story is that you paid $900 to rent a car for the weekend. My major metropolitan area Hertz charges $54/day.

That’s $306,000 per vehicle, which after R&D and testing costs will only equal $200,000 in profit per vehicle.

I've lived in both. Does that count?

It's also $130,000.

So sell a vehicle that gets 20 mpg and just add $1897 to the price. The people who buy Escalades won't even care.

Florida schools are purposely made bad so that they keep electing these idiots.

Don't forget Monsanto.

Florida is beautiful as long as you're underwater. Above sea level, it's as exciting as Iowa with a beach.

I'm pretty sure my state has outlawed the teaching of both science and math because it doesn't always play nice with the Bible.

Probably Liberia. Liberia does whatever we tell them to. Look at their flag.

Yeah, a system built around the temperature of an arbitrary winter in Danzig, Germany and an inaccurate estimate of body temperature makes way more sense than one built around the temperature at which water freezes and boils.

Has anyone set up a legal defense fund for the suspected shooters?

The fans are different, but the teams are different, too.