For some reason though, it helped me. I went and got a glass of milk after I read this.

I've been calling my microwave the Science Oven ever since I saw the movie.

Day? Made.

Well this was in 1986 and the car was a hand me down from my big sister. It was a sickening color of maroon, the seats were worn through so I put some nice, furry grey seat covers on it and it had a terrible Kraco cassette stereo with tinny speakers and a mix tape stuck inside the player.

I only know this because it was my first car. A '77 to be exact. It was a piece of shit.

I think that's a Vega, dude.

Something about "blessed are the cheesmakers..."

As the adoptive parent of a unloved, unused car I approve of this.

Yes but like he's reentering the atmosphere

You are a fortunate man. What's next? If you say 'Land Speeder', I'll kill myself.

What I would look like from someone else's perspective...

Daddy?

Or a commercial for boner pills where they are describing the side effects at the end. Dry mouth is missing though.

"please give me my dignity and allow me to die"

Perfect. Thank you.

One day a fool wandered into the castle and found the king alone. And being a fool, he was simple minded, he didn't see a king. He only saw a man alone and in pain. And he asked the king, "What ails you friend?" The king replied, "I'm thirsty. I need some water to cool my throat". So the fool took a cup from beside…

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Dear Father,

Shooting Brake?