The fishing cat is cute in a vacant stare, Keanu Reeves sort of way. There is no spoon.

Maybe it had crabs

Why is he wearing subway tokens? Modern hopping vampires would have Metrocards.

One does not need to pay 6 grand to get blown down these days. CP

Is she sure it's not just Whoopi Goldberg?

It calmly says "Love me. Don't judge me."

Seriously? No one has thought of this?

'Teach it to do your evil bidding' is notably absent.

Cue Lisa Loeb music

Cue Lisa Loeb music

She's merely dusting out crevices.

Was he that thin?

Maybe read a bit closer. The controversy is there regardless of what Patrick said. He was simply reporting. It was the "Southern Christian Leadership Conference" that raised the issue. Snobby Yankee assholes are busy oppressing the South with reading comprehension.

I just inhaled some banana reading this.

"My two heads resented each other."

Best T-shirt Ever.

Catches the poo right before fiery death.

I fear cross contamination consequences here. As in 'Meatmallow' or 'Marshdog'. Neither particularly appealing. Or are they?