Chris Murphy would be great.

There is no God.

Hot take alert:

Compared to Trump I miss that dumb genocidal motherfuck.

The worst thing they have on her is the Native American thing, which is slightly more stupid than trying to take down Obama with Reverend Wright. All we have to do is find a Native ancestor.

I wish I were on a sports team that won a championship just for this moment, in front of the world.

“SaltedCaramelTart saves dozens from burning building, invited to dinner with President Trump.”

It’s like his fantasy football team.

Annex us please

As the Republicans refuse to give her an inch.

I can’t wait to get a spunky robot detective sidekick and live in Fenway Park

For some reason people expected her to be talking about how best to eat babies.

Hey maybe this means they’ll never fucking vote again.

My friend, when Trump loses to Elizabeth Warren in 2020 he will still receive 50 million votes.

If you honestly believe Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump would be equally disastrous presidents, you are a fucking idiot.

California Dreamin’ cover for San Andreas is actually on my phone.

I have no sympathy for any Trump supporter, and Bernie apologizing for them just makes me wish he’d go away.

“You’ve got gumption kid! You’ve made partner!” *snorts cocaine between underage call-girl’s boobs*

Donald will be impeached and removed from office. It’s just a matter of when and who he takes with him.

2016 just gets worse and worse...