Allow me to go somewhere no one has ever gone before — I'm going to use a tired pop culture analogy to talk about sports. Ready? Grantland is the Nickelback of sportswriting.

Yeah, if you don't like reading Pravda, just read other news in Moscow!

Why would good sports writers come to Deadspin?

Hire them all! (Serious note: loved loved loved their writing, but their look of their website never matched the content. I know that's superficial, but the articles didn't leap out at you).

Are you sure Bill Hicks didn't say it first?

No mention of Scully in this post?

Jose Canseco tweeted about seeing Bay Area sports personality (and former MLBer) FP Santangelo partying at the Playboy Mansion on New Years Eve with ladies that...were not his wife.

I tweeted back to Jose telling him that "snitches get stitches."

He replied.

Warren Sapp blocked me because I replied to one of his "time to make the doughnuts" tweets with "you should stop eating them you fat pile of shit." So sensitive.

Serious question, how is this not considered blackmail?

Hudson is weird little hamlet. There's definitely a sense snobbery. Like it's not just full of elitist types, it's where elitist types from the city go to antique on weekends.

Yes, it absolutely does. As a favor I got a coworker a hot chocolate with whipped cream at Starbucks as he requested, but the place was pretty far from the office so it was at least 20 minutes between when I got it and when I gave it to him. He was sooooo upset that the whipped cream had melted into the hot chocolate,…

And you have no clue what you're talking about or any data what so ever to back it up.

I have no plans to go there. Ever. Did you at least get a jail tattoo? Something like "93 in a 55" across your knuckles?

"tearing down an interstate"..."70mph" LOL

There's nothing remotely dangerous or criminal about driving 80mph.

Other Class One misdemeanors in Virginia include animal cruelty, sexual battery, and aiming a firearm at someone. This is how the state regards people who drive over 80 mph.

He was basically obliterating a $40 piece of steak.

It's pretty unnerving to realize that only half of these fetishes bothered me....

Seriously. Sidebar: who in the fuck likes the Decemberists and their awful lyrics?

Because he's a fucking adult and gets to decide what he does & doesn't eat. He doesn't need anyone's "tolerance".