Sorry Ryan, Monkey 47 is the best gin in the world.

I don’t know about Katherine Heigl but Elton John is a fucking shitty Diva, he is mean and rude to the little people so well done for smacking him in the chops with anything, the bastard deserves it.

This makes me want to change my name even more than the “Becky” shit, I want to be called anything else from now on except the same name as this awful, disgusting human being..

I can confirm this is all about elastigirl and you will also love wreck it Ralph 2

Sorry, I seem a bit late to the shitshow. I can 1000% vouch for the fact that you are indeed a Brit and not an expat Brit like me but a real one, one that actually has to put up with the shitty weather and sorry that things got so weird for you. Please don’t stop these updates they are the main reason I read barf bag.

There is no skipping Father Ted, I am so glad you put this here.

I had a guy once tell me I was chubby, I was 1m53cm and weighed 52 kilos and yet that shit made me hate myself so fuck anyone who does this it is abhorrent

Many years ago in what seems like another life, a male co-worker asked to touch my boobs to see if they were real, I responded that if he wanted to risk losing teeth when I punched him in the mouth he should go ahead but I couldn’t be held accountable for a natural reaction to someone touching my boobs without…

Not enough stars

Poor Belgians, never get their due for fried potatoes, much like we never credit the Germans for hamburgers.

The funniest thing about the Eurovision is that nobody in Western Europe actually wants to win, otherwise they have to organise the next Eurovision and no-one really wants the cost or the hassle which gives us these craptacular mediocre songs. If you drink enough European booze then it can be a hoot.

Wrong again, my grandparents were in the RAF and the war office, what did yours do?

Well hate to correct you but first it is lose not loose and secondly you are full of shit, ever heard of Napoleon? Or Lafayette? Or World War One? Just because that fucker the duke of Windsor gave the French military positions to Hitler which allowed them to invade France in WW2 doesn’t mean anything, without the…

Your willful ignorance of history is highly amusing.

And we all know how he ended up...

Before he gets the parade he needs to have the revolution, qu’on le lui coupe la tête !

I was about to say the same thing, it is a godsend.

I meant a small percentage of the French population.

Um not a dude, Cannes is an overblown shitfest, that’s like saying the Oscars represent popular movies in America which they obviously don’t, box office popularity does not correlate with award shows. I am a French citizen, have been living and working here for almost 26 years, married to a French man and yes I…

Hi there, I think we may get some but will it stick on this waterlogged ground?