Look, 2016 sucks for a lot of reasons. Donald Trump, Kardashians, North Korea. But a 40 year old British man can stream a game about driving a truck for 5 hours a week and thousands of people watch it, and that gives me hope.

I will admit it. I have been saying since the beginning that there is no way he will actually be elected. He’s a joke.

I never thought a Presidential Election could actually cause me severe anxiety and actual depression at the same time...four years ago, I remember loving Herman Cain, Rick Perry, etc’s ridiculous moments as I knew they were finite and everything would be ok.

And then there’s me. Going as myself for Halloween.

Ummmmm I used to be very good friends with a girl who, one day, made this statement with a straight face: “I don’t wash my hands after going pee. Why would I?? It’s not like I pee all over my hands...”

I try to cough into my shoulder or the crook of my arm. I’ve been coughing inside my shirt since reading this, as I am also fighting off a cold. Ugh.

Fun fact: Gwyneth Paltrow actually did die while making Contagion. However, prior to filming, she contracted a genetics lab to make a clone of herself to carry out her Goop legacy.

My male coworkers have an impressive ability to be out of the bathroom before the urinal is done flushing. Absolutely vile.

I know what to tell those people: you are garbage humans. Join the rest of us in the 21st century.

AND WHO THE FUCK COUGHS ON A PLANE WITHOUT COVERING THEIR MOUTH? YOU ARE SPREADING YOUR GERMS TO ME

i cannot tell you how many people I pass on the street who don’t cover their mouths AT ALL! I give them nasty looks and cover my mouth, but they don’t care. they look at me like i am the weirdo. Parents - why are you not raising your children correctly???

In sophisticated Toronto, we have little signs in our subway trains with a helpful illustration.

Unless it’s me because basically, I am Ron Swanson in the hardware store: “I know more than you.” I worked for many years at Trader Joe’s and Albertson’s to put myself through school. I did a LOT of bagging and cashiering but I also ordered product and supervised trainees. (Side klang - When Mila Jovovich got…

The ones who should be banned from self checkout are the people who don’t know how to use it.

Yeah, because Saga definitely hasn’t been hyped on the internet enough. There’s a character in Marvel comics you might like named Squirrel Girl.

I love hearing about fans who are so intent on achieving an outcome that they will stop at nothing to get it.

Feelings breakdown: